The prompt for this week:

   Write a love story in 1500 words or less.  Mine is beyond that. Again.  But after following some advice from the group, I managed to trim the excess to just 61 words, instead of 224 extra words.

Anyway, this story has references to Philippine mythology and folklore.  To explain some terms, I linked those up with the appropriate web resources. 

I'd appreciate help in trimming this down to the desired word count.

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THE ENGAGEMENT - Revised Version 

The ring had not sat long on her fingers when it came.

There they were, holding each other, relishing the first giddy moments of their engagement. Joy seemed to burst forth from Lida as she alternately admired her ring and looked at Carlo. Light from the moon and candles bounced from her ring, but in Carlo's mind, nothing could be brighter than the glow on Lida's face. All the joy in the world was right there in his arms. Then...

“What's the matter?” he asked. He felt Lida suddenly shudder and gasp, saw her eyes widen.
“Nothing,” Lida replied shaking her head. She blinked hard to dispel her vision of a wall of fire that suddenly appeared. The vision left but not before it seared itself in her mind. Lida fought to ignore what she saw, but the magical time was sullied and for her, gone.

The excitement of those days mingled with the disquiet that the vision brought. Like a slideshow, images flashed in her mind reminding her of times she thought she'd outgrown and put behind her: a young, lonely girl, playing in the thicket near her old house; a big knobby tree in the far corner, and... She shut her eyes. No! She told herself as the memories tried to force their way in her thoughts. There were nights when they did not allow her to sleep and days when she could be heard muttering to herself mystifying those who could hear.

The vision seemed to be getting stronger with each passing day. One time when Lida was having lunch with her friends, the vision came again while she was recounting her engagement. The fire seemed to burn hotter. Yet it was not just the fire. Amidst its crackle Lida heard a sonorous voice say “What have I to do to remind you?” Lida paled and was stymied for most of the meal. The sudden change in behavior confounded her friends.

And so it went. Each time that Lida focused on her engagement, the vision flared up, more intensely than the last time as though her thoughts of her engagement and future were the very triggers for the visions and dreams. Somebody seemed not want her happiness, or, was jealous of it. The voices now came more frequently too – especially when she was with Carlo.

“Is anything wrong? You've not been your usual self since our engagement,” said Carlo one day while they walked hand-in-hand towards the parking lot. Lida tightened her grip on his hand. “I'm alright. I'm very happy as you well know,” she replied while trying to give him her sunniest smile. “You know that you can tell me anything,” he replied, turning her towards him so that he could look at her eyes. “I, I'm just scar......ah..having the jitters. That's all”.


Carlo was troubled. He knew there was more to it. He'd never seen Lida like this. She had always been cheerful and solicitous. But these days, she'd been withdrawn. She even looked a little ragged which wasn't like her. If only he could make her talk.

But as days went on, things just worsened. Lida did not even want to discuss their wedding. Carlo was getting irritated.

“Lida, we need to plan our wedding. Where do you want to get married?”

“Wherever you want will be fine.”

“'Thought you wanted it to be at San Agustin? or an out of the way quaint Church perhaps? or in your hometown?”

“Please can we talk about this later.”

“Lida, we've been delaying this.”

“You're being pushy. I said not now, please.”

“But we need to decide on these things!”

“Fine! Go marry yourself!”

Carlo left her in a huff, quite confused.

“Good work, Lida.,” said the voice happily. “Go away”, she sobbed, curling herself on a corner of the couch. Absentmindedly, she caressed the stone on her ring.

“Don't cry, Lida. Remember, you used to come to me when you were sad?”

“I'm not a little girl anymore,” she said more to herself than to the voice in her head.

“You promised we'll be together always,” the voice reminded her. “I gave you gifts. Pretty gifts. But you let them burn our tree down.”

“Stop! Stop!” Lida covered her ears.

“I like this butterfly that you gave me.” She heard a girlish voice say.

“Come here every afternoon, we'll play,” said the other voice.

“Yes, Tomas,” the girl giggled.

The voices played in her head all night. Her day was spent in a waking stupor. The phone rang – Carlo – and she ignored it. How she got to her parents' house, she didn't know. She zoomed through the highway mercifully avoiding any accident. Her mother stared at Lida with alarm when she saw her gaunt face.

Lida threw herself into her mother's arms. “Tomas is back, Mama.”

Her mother turned white. “Does Carlo know?”

“I'm ashamed to tell him, Ma.” She cried. Her mother led her to her old room, the one facing the thicket.

“Welcome back,” said the familiar voice as soon as the door closed. Lida saw a young man walking towards her with outstretched hand. She pushed him away. “Why are you so mad at me?” he asked.

“Leave me alone, Tomas. I'm happy now. I'm marrying the one I love.”

“Before there was Carlo, there was us.”

Much later that day, Carlo, summoned by Lida's mother, arrived. He was brought to Lida's room whereshe was having a fitful sleep. He sat by her side and held her hand. Leaning close to her, he whispered “I do not know how to handle this, Lida. Help me.” Her eyes fluttered. She squeezed his hand.

But in an instant, she was looking at him wide-eyed. “Go away!” a guttural voice issued from her mouth.

Carlo was stunned but managed to hold Lida closer towards him. With great force, she slammed him against the wall. With a sudden jerk, she flung something from her hand. WE DON'T NEED THIS TOY!” - the voice said. It tinkled when it landed by Carlo's side. Carlo managed to pick it up before Lida picked him up by his collar and tossed him out of her room. Lida burst out of the door and almost floated towards the thicket, oblivious of everything, even of Carlo who chased after her and screamed her name. Carlo panicked when he saw her headed towards a wall of fire. Without a thought, he plunged after her, and caught her arm as she stepped into the fire. An invisible hand seemed to have caught her and pulled her- and him - inside.

“Tomas, I am here to play now,” Lida said in an unrecognizable voice.

“Now at last, we can be together, Lida,” said a booming voice. Carlo looked up, and nearly froze when he beheld his rival. A big, dark kapre, with tobacco dangling from his mouth, stood in front of them.

“No, she doesn't belong to you!” Carlo cried as he hacked away at the legs planted before him.

The Kapre only laughed.

Desperate, Carlo turned to Lida - “Lida, can't you see? Tomas is a Kapre, not a man!”

Lida simply stood there, entranced.

“Human, go now or suffer!”

“No. Not without Lida,” said Carlo, wondering how to get out of this nightmare.

Tomas removed the tobacco from his mouth and then extended his long arms towards Carlo. Carlo's hands fumbled looking for anything to distract Tomas with. He felt something in his pocket and held onto it for luck. As Tomas lifted Carlo up and stubbed his cigar on him, Carlo hurled what he was holding straight unto Tomas' eyes. The stone, keeper of the love between Carlo and Lida, cast its brilliance upon Tomas before it fell on Lida. Tomas blinked, stepped back and dropped Carlo onto the ground. The cold band of the ring was like water poured on Lida who seemed to wake up with a start. “Carlo?” Carlo crawled towards Lida. He tried to shield her from the ghastly sight before her, but she saw Tomas. She let out a scream. Tomas looked at her with what seemed like tears and said “I loved you Lida. I want you here.” Lida, recovering from her fear, and perhaps remembering the friend that saw her through her lonely childhood days, said at last - “I love Carlo, Tomas. You will always be my friend”. With that, Tomas uttered a cry that ruffled the leaves and shook the earth around them. Then he disappeared. Lida and Carlo were left in the darkness, by the charred stump of the old tree that was burnt a long time ago to drive Tomas away from Lida. There, they were found in an embrace. The ring was now back on Lida's fingers, flashing its brilliance for all to see.

 ______

THE ENGAGEMENT 

The ring had not sat long on her fingers when it came.

There they were, holding each other, relishing the first giddy moments of their engagement. Joy seemed to burst forth from Lida as she alternately admired her ring and looked at Carlo. Moonlight and candlelight played and bounced from her ring, but in Carlo's mind, nothing could be brighter than the glow in Lida's face. All the joy in the world is right in his arms that moment. Then...

“What's the matter?”, he asked as he felt Lida suddenly shudder and gasp, her eyes wide.
“Nothing”, Lisa replied with a shake of her head. She blinked hard to shake off her vision of a wall of fire that intruded in that moment. The vision disappeared but not before it seared itself in Lida's mind. Lida fought to ignore what she saw, but the magical time was sullied and for her, gone.

The excitement of those days mingled with the disquiet that the vision brought. Like a slideshow, images flashed in her mind reminding her of times she thought she had outgrown and put behind her: a young, lonely girl, playing in the thicket near her old house; a big knobby tree in the far corner, and... She shut her eyes. No! She told someone unseen who was trying to force itself in her thought. There were nights when the memories did not allow her to sleep and days when she could be heard muttering to herself to the puzzlement of those who could hear.

The vision seemed to be getting stronger with each passing day. One time when Lida was having lunch with her friends, the vision came again while she was recounting her engagement moment. The fire seemed to burn hotter. Yet it was not just the fire. Amidst its crackle Lida heard a sonorous voice say “What have I to do to remind you?” Lida paled and was stymied for most of the meal. The sudden change in behavior bewildered her friends who took it in stride and veered the conversation away from Lida's engagement.

And so it went. Each time that Lida focused on her engagement, the vision flared up, more intensely than the last time as though her thoughts of her engagement and future were the very triggers for the visions and dreams. Somebody seemed not want her happiness, or, was jealous of it. The voices now come more frequently too – especially when she was with Carlo.

“Is anything wrong? You've not been your usual self since our engagement.”, said Carlo one day while they walked hand-in-hand towards the parking lot. Lida tightened her grip on Carlo's hand. “I'm alright. I am very happy as you well know”, she replied while trying to give Carlo her sunniest smile. “You know that you can tell me anything,” he replied, turning her towards him so that he could look at her eyes. “I, I am just scar......ah..having the jitters. That's all”.


Carlo was troubled. He knew there was more to it. He had never seen Lida like this. She had always been cheerful and solicitous. But these days, she had been withdrawn. She even looked a little ragged which was not like her. If only he could make her talk.

But as days went on, things just worsened. Lida did not even want to discuss their wedding. Carlo was getting irritated.

“Lida, we need to plan our wedding. Where do you want to get married?”

“Wherever you want will be fine.”

“I thought you wanted it to be at San Agustin? or an out of the way quaint Church perhaps? or in your hometown?”

“Please can we talk about this later.”

“Lida, we have been delaying this.”

“You are being pushy. I said not now, please.”

“But we need to decide on these things!”

“Fine! Go marry yourself!”

Carlo left her in a huff, quite confused.

“Good work, Lida.,” said the voice happily. “Go away”, she sobbed, curling herself on a corner of the couch. Absentmindedly, she caressed the stone on her ring.

“Don't cry, Lida. Remember, you used to come to me when you were sad?”

“I am not a little girl anymore”, she said more to herself than to the voice in her head.

“You promised we will be together always”, the voice reminded her. “I gave you gifts. Pretty gifts. But you let them burn our tree down.”

“Stop! Stop!” Lisa covered her ears.

“I like this butterfly that you gave me”. Lida heard a girlish voice say.

“Come here every afternoon, we will play”, said the other voice.

“Yes, Tomas”, the girl giggled.


The voices played in her head all night. Her day was spent in a waking stupor. The phone rang – Carlo – and she ignored it. How she got to her parents' house, she did not know. She zoomed through the highway mercifully avoiding any accident. Her mother stared at her with alarm when she saw Lida's gaunt face.

Lida threw herself into her mother's arms. “Tomas is back, Mama.”

Her mother turned white. “Does Carlo know?”

“I am ashamed to tell him, Ma.” She cried. Her mother led her to her old room, the one facing the thicket.

“Welcome back”, said the familiar voice as soon as the door closed. Lida saw a young man walking towards her with outstretched hand. She pushed him away. “Why are you so mad at me?”, asked the young man.

“Leave me alone, Tomas. I am happy now. I am marrying the the one I love.”

“Before there was Carlo, there was us.”

Much later that day, Carlo, summoned by Lisa's mother, arrived. He was brought to Lida's room where Lida was having a fitful sleep. He sat by her side and held her hand. Leaning close to her, he whispered “I do not know how to handle this, Lida. Help me.” Her eyes fluttered. She squeezed his hand.

But in an instant, she was looking at him wide-eyed. “Go away!”, a guttural voice issued from her mouth.

Carlo was stunned but managed to hold Lida closer towards him. With great force, she slammed him against the wall. With a sudden jerk, she flung something from her hand. WE DO NOT NEED THIS TOY!” - the voice said. It tinkled as it landed by Carlo's side. Carlo managed to pick it up before Lida picked him up by his collar and tossed him out of her room. Lida burst out of the door and almost floated towards the thicket, oblivious of everything, even of Carlo who chased after her and screamed her name. Carlo panicked when he saw her headed towards a wall of fire. Without a thought, he plunged after her, and caught her arm as she stepped into the fire. An invisible hand seemed to have caught her and pulled her- and him - inside.

“Tomas, I am here to play now”, Lida said in an unrecognizable voice.

“Now at last, we can be together, Lida” said a booming voice. Carlo looked up, and nearly froze when he beheld his rival – a big, dark kapre, with tobacco dangling from his mouth, stood in front of them.

“No, she does not belong to you!” Carlo cried as he hacked away at the legs planted before him.

The Kapre only laughed.

Desperate, Carlo turned to Lida - “Lida, can't you see? Tomas is a Kapre, not a man!”

But Lida simply stood there, entranced.

“Human, go now or suffer!”

“No. Not without Lida.” said Carlo, not knowing how to get out of this nightmare.

Tomas removed the tobacco from his mouth and then extended his long arms towards Carlo. Carlo's hands fumbled looking for anything to distract Tomas with. He felt something in his pocket and held onto it for luck. As Tomas lifted Carlo up and stubbed his cigar on Carlo, Carlo hurled what he was holding straight unto Tomas' eyes. The stone, keeper of the love between Carlo and Lida, cast its brilliance upon Tomas before it fell on Lida. Tomas blinked, stepped back and dropped Carlo onto the ground. The cold band of the ring was like water poured on Lida who seemed to wake up with a start. “Carlo?” Carlo crawled towards Lida. He tried to shield her from the ghastly sight before her, but she saw Tomas. She let out a scream. Tomas looked at her with what seemed like tears and said “I loved you Lida. I want you here.” Lida, recovering from her fear, and perhaps remembering the friend that saw her through her lonely childhood days, said at last - “I love Carlo, Tomas. You will always be my friend”. With that, Tomas uttered a cry that ruffled the leaves and shook the earth around them. Then he disappeared. Lida and Carlo were left in the darkness, by the charred stump of the old tree that was burnt a long time ago to drive Tomas away from Lida. There, they were found them in an embrace. The ring was now back on Lida's fingers, flashing its brilliance for all to see.

Thank you for dropping by.  

Best regards,

Imelda