My husband took my three year old to the office with him. I know he has a lot of things to do and that he cannot really work when he has a child with him, but he does so anyway. First, he does that as an act of kindness to me. He knows that I will have an easier time doing everything that I need to do if I have one less child to supervise and attend to. Second, he does that out of love for his son. He just can not resist it when his son looks at him in the eye and asks sweetly "me go to office with Daddy?". He is one of those daddies whose world is his family and enjoys being with his children. When I tell him that we have too many things to do to accommodate all of the children's wishes (for attention, specifically), he would reply in this manner: "I often heard that older people never wished that they had more time to do their chores. Rather, they wished that they had more time with the children."
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It is a no-meat day. Sometimes, it is a little stressful to think about what to prepare for Fridays. Many of the non-meat recipes I have tried turned out to be ho-hum. Feeding them to the children was quite the challenge. Meanwhile, making the tried and tested thing (which are limited) over and over again can also be quite tiring, please pardon my word. But today, I found a new recipe that may be great. It calls for asparagus and shrimp and pasta. What's not to like? So I will cook with a little prayer that it turns out well. If it does, I might even share the recipe. )
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I had a cleaning attack this morning. We have an old pine floor - w referred to as hardwood floor some 40 years ago. It did not age well. It gets scratched easily, doesn't shine and traps dirt and grime in the spaces between the slats. And yes, the edges are prone to breaking and splinters too. When I look at this floor, I am overwhelmed with "I-wants" and "I hates": "I want a new flooring", "I hate this floor". I guess it is a good opportunity to be patient, to remember the value of simplicity, and to have a little penance to offer to God. After that, I kind of scaled down my wants to "I want a new vacuum cleaner" and "I want some wood polish". I will certainly indulge myself with the latter this weekend. And I might even get a swifter too.
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Now that I am myself a mother, I have a better idea of what my parents went through to raise me, especially since I may be raising a child who is so much like me. I wonder if my mother wished that I would have a child so much like me? Oh no! ) With each fit and tantrum that my beloved child throws, I am reminded of what I have been as a child. And I feel sad for him. I am afraid that I have given him too much to overcome. And so with my whole heart, I pray that in God's time, he turns out right. And if only for his sake, I pray that I become a better person as well.
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Once again, I am mailing my cards for my family in the Philippines quite late. Sigh! They always get my Christmas cards well into January. And to think, I bought my first batch of cards in November, a week before Thanksgiving, so that I could be ahead in sending out cards for once. Alas! I do not even know where those cards are now. It is a good thing that I can talk to my family by phone and internet. But I do have to resolve to send out my greeting cards - Christmas, birthdays, whatever - on time.
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The winter sun always makes me feel a bit sad. I do not know why - I just have this feeling that it is not right. Maybe because it is not bright enough brightness or intense enough. Maybe, it is because it creates too many shadows during the day. 8 years have I been here in the States and I have not really gotten used to the winter sun.
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Being single. If there is one advantage to being single that I can think of - a single person, chances are, has a lot more time to pray and to focus on prayer. I remember that before I got married, or even before I had children, I could stay on my knees for sometime. I had time to meditate - to just sit back, be quiet, and talk/pray to God. I could read a lot of spiritual books and ponder about them. These days, with a household to run and 4 young ones to look after, I hardly have a moment's peace. When I do, I do other things but pray. Distracted. That's what I am. My confessor told me once that in my state of life, quick prayers are best - lifting up the heart and thought to God, even for just a second is prayer. Thinking of God while doing the duties of my state in life is prayer. But sometimes, it is not enough. How does a mother with a posy of little children pray?
Peace of soul comes to those with the right kind of anxiety about attaining perfect happiness, which is God. A soul has anxiety because it final and eternal state is not yet decided, it is still and always at the crossroads of life. This fundamental anxiety cannot be cured by a surrender to passions and instincts; the basic cause of our anxiety is a restlessness within time that comes because we are made for eternity.
If there were anywhere on earth a resting place other than God, we may be very sure that the human soul in its long history would have found it before this. ~ Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen